Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Tenses and punctuations.



PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE TENSES AND PUCTUATIONS
Loved.
Was loved.

Love
Is loved.
Is loved?

Will love??
Will be loved???

CONTINUOS PRESENT TENSE:

Someone is thinking of someone else.
Someone else is having fun with someone else.
Someone is having doubts.
Someone else is still having fun with someone else.
Someone is losing something.
Someone is losing ONE thing.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

What do you do when you face a problem?

For me? I find out the reasons, find out the best solution and start working on it as soon as I can. If it involves others, a thorough talk is needed with lots of compassion and understanding coming along with support. Then a solution that works for everybody should be agreed on and everybody would start working on it together... That's how I solve my problem!

Others? Well, different choices with difference reasons. The two most common ones:

1. Blame everyone , but you, and then QUIT! The easiest way to end any problem as it's not your problem anymore which means you dont have to deal with it anymore. DONE! This works all the time and anyone can do it!



2. Take time! Take everything easy and get the balance back before making any decision. This will require a huge patience and understanding from everyone around and from yourself too. This can also be a risky one as if the patience is not there, taking time can mean letting it go in a polite way and letting it fade away without any effort of saving or solving it. This, at the end of the day, is not much different than the QUIT one, just in a softer way.

Choose your best way and the most important thing is agreement with others involved. Once the agreement is met, start working on it RIGHT AWAY! Because a problem will become a more serious problem if you dont deal with it.

Thoughts? Check out some of the problem solving charts / process to get an idea!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Democracy and fake stuff in Canada


It's everywhere! Talking about democracy in Canada, I have only one thing to say: The Government has been doing a really good job in brain-washing people here. They believe the Government more than anywhere else that I have been to. But looking at it from an outsider's perpective, I can see a lot of things that the Government is doing without any respect to human rights or other basic rights of people here. The only difference is the Government knows how to make people believe that they are taken care of about everything. The whole North America is the perfect place to find best liars in politics and in many other things.


A lot of fake stuff and things going on in daily life and people are too narrowed view to see. People in this continent live in their own comfortable boxes and physically, those boxes may be the most comfortatble boxes in the world. But at the end of the day, it's just boxes. Poor these people. At first, I got angry from getting hurt by the system, but then I feel bad for them as they will not be able to see over the box and will forever stay in these boxes for the rest of their lives. I'm getting out really soon. I might have my meltdown here, I might have my depression here, but NEVER will I lose myself, my dignity and my own identity over this narrowed-view country and continent. I'm glad that finally I can figure out that it's not my place here. Too cold! Both the weather and the people. All of them are so nice but not all of them are real nice. A lot is faking that they are nice. People lie about daily things too and they excuse that they are being nice and they dont want to hurt others feelings. I call it "lying". I prefer a honest comment on whatever I have than a nice compliment and then to know that it's fake. Think about it, when people say nice things about almost everything to almost everyone, that's fake already!


I like my durty and dusty Asia way better. Things might be a lot less comfortable but you will know if the person you are talking to likes you or hates you. That's a lot easier on your nerves. And it hurts less to know that they hate you than hearing that they like you and then finding out that they actually hate you.


Make any sense to you? Anything else for the welcome party ? Bring it on Canada!!!


Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Emptiness....


They say I'm depressed and I need to see a doctor for it. How do I feel?

Empty...

Lost....

Drowning....

Scared....

Lonely....

Why? Don't know! Things mean everything and then suddenly mean nothing at all. Just want to let go, give up, stop thinking, stop being confused, stop being lost, stop looking, stop hearing, stop breathing........

Everything and nothing...

Sunday, April 22, 2007

"Good behave, ok?"

Today, I'm gonna talk about SEDUCTION and FAITH.

Satturday morning, I went to a fabric market with Rose and my sis. We got a whole bunch of nice fabrics for dresses, formal clothes and other funky stuffs. Rose is quitting ger job and she's soo excited about getting a whole bunch of new formal stuffs for her new job which is an Office Administrator for a Real Estate office in town. Good for her. I would quit that job a few centuries ago if I were her. Well, understandable! When the dedication is not appriciated, it's hard to keep being dedicated!!!
That's the reason for us to ignore the spring dirty rain in Saturday morning to drive more than 20 kms to that market and then 20 more kms back after the shopping. Getting close to the market, we saw and felt the wind and the smell of the fresh air in countryside area. Soo fresh! No wonder why farmers always seem to be happier than people living in big cities. Heading back with the sun above and the dust everywhere, we felt soo bad that we gotta leave early as there were still so many other nice things waving ..... our wallets. Well, lunch time anyway! We just cant get starved over shopping.
We decided to take all the fabrics we just bought to my favorite in the afternoon and Rose would be going to my house after a quick "quickie" with someone who was gonna play something like "dish throwing" afterwards, and I would be waiting for her at my house and having my lunch at the same time.
While I was hanging around waiting for Rose, a friend of mine asked me to help with her hair story so I took her to my favortite hairdresser to explain to her what my friend wants to do with her hair. What a pity that I gotta leave her there with the hairdresser as I gotta go to get the fabrics to my tailor with Rose. B
Before leaving, we found out that we missed each other at the party last night (the one that I got soo much hurt for my body and my feet from dancing too much). I left around 11.00 and she came around that time too. Well, I do have an intention of being a good girl to my daddy as I'm leaving and there's not much chance to be a good daughter to him when I leave and he gave me the curfew anyway.
"I love my single life!" I told her when I was about to leave her with the hairdresser.
"Good behave, ok?" She said to all of my surprises.
WHAT???
She's afraid that I would jump into a bed with any hot guy outthere? Or do I look like that easy to take anyone to be an one-night stand? Not sure, but it's a little shock to me actually.
Is it a crime to enjoy my single life when my boyfriend is away? And he is enjoying his single life there too anyway! Well, talking about faith or good behaviours when a couple is not together!!!
Again, the faith and the trust jump into my mind and the talk just as natually as the air I'm breathing and guess what? I hate talking about it. Why me? Why not him? Who can ensure that he would not be sniffing around some chicks over there?

That's what we call SEDUCTION!

Hmmm.....hmmm...... Well, she is his friend long before we met each other and she knows him maybe more than I do. So she should know her friend and his reputation better than I do.
I dont even want to think about it. No matter what going on there with him, that's his single life to enjoy and I have mine too. It's all up to him to be faithful or not. I'm not gonna even say a word to him about it. It's his choice, his life and his decision. Not mine. And I have no intention of judging him over what he decides to do there regarding the faith. As I simply cant control what he wants to do. And I dont want to be a controlling girl anyway. Not worth my energy!
For myself, I made the decision of focusing on myself for the time being. Myself and myself only. I need my energy for my body and my peace for my heart back. So dont tell me what to do. And dont judge me either.
It's been sooo unfair and overwhelming to me for a long time and I deserve the deep care now and I know that the care can only deeply come from me as no one can love me more than I do, even him! I have been waiting for that care for soo long as this little boy waiting for the sun after the rain, and now I decide to take care of me myself.

I'm coming to the decision that this blog should be about me and my life more, not only about him and the relationship. I never appeared on his blog in a personal way as his girlfriend anyway (but someone did and even better, got mentioned in such a deep way! Ironical, huh?).

Ahh, talking about enjoying the single life, I'm going to Laos and then BKK with a girl who has never been there before. The trip is gonna be all the way by bus only and it's 58 hours totally on bus. Even better, I been to Laos for only one time and to BKK more than one time, but never by myself and I never had to figure out how to get to somewhere by myself as I'm soooo bad direction and map reading. And this time, I will have to do everything by myself as the other girl knows nothing about these places. Great!!! Let's pray that we would not get lost and there would be no bomb in BKK while we are there. Oh ..... my...... God......

Time to book the hotel in BKK. Whereever it is close to MBK, my favortite shopping mall in BKK! That's the deal.

Now, shower time and then skin care time and then "24" time!

Let's see what Jack Bauer's up to tonight!!!

Saturday, April 21, 2007

My single life is back and my body hurts! Like hell!


Oh......


My .......


God!!!!


My body hurts, like hell! But looks like I cant complain about it! As it's from dancing, well, like......... hell tonight!


That... was fun!!! A whole bunch of people came to a place next to a river and danced like hell. It was something " Latino night" or something like that. I cant remember things after I left. But I do remember that I did dance. Like hell! I never danced that much in my life and never felt sooo free in my life. Oh, I love my single life!!!


My toes are now blaming me for their pains. My stomach is screaming for an easy night. And my whole body is dying for a massage. Oh yeah! I need a massage! A deep one!


And my mind, needs some rest. It was soo loud and polluted on the dancing floor that I felt exhausted after that.


Thanks God that I didnt drink any drop of alcohol as I know that I am by myself tonight and the only person who would look after me if I ever get drunk is myself. And honestly, I'm not that sure about me being able to take care of myself when I'm drunk.


So I drank "Aquafina!" What's the f? Well, water!!! Hey! Scotty and Andy, what is the Irrish accent for the pronounciation of water? Come on, bring it on!


Alright! Time to get some sleep to get some energy back after this crazy night!


Oh, no, dont tell me you are looking for food now, my lovely stomach! I know you are tired as me too. Why dont we get some sleep and get some food later when we wake up in the morning ok? You know I'm lazy about eating, doncha?


Snoring..............

Saturday, April 14, 2007

The "confabulation" shot!


Yahoooo!!!! I am now living my single life again. Well, I'm doing nothing wrong, man! I'm a Vietnamese girl and I'm just doing what my Uncle Ho has taught this nation: "Nothing is more precious than independence and freedom!"

Making detail plans for what to do in the next 4 months, I found myself getting more and more excited even I havent done anything yet! Well, first of all, I will quit this stupid hotel that I been working for the last 2 months!

A trip to Laos is being waited as I know for sure that I will have a lot of fun there. Come on ladies, let's check these Laos guys out! And it looks like the biggest reason for me to come back to Laos is their silk! I remember the silk scarfs that I bought when I came to Laos last time! They are so nice and soo cheap too! I bought 4 of them and now I have none! One is for Rose, one for my grand-ma, one for my sis and one for Donna, Scotty's mom! I want to have at least one of them or if I can, I would buy one each colour. Funny reason ehh?

Well, then after the Laos trip, I will be working with James Carman, the photorapher from NY. The first time I worked with him, I had no idea who he was. Thanks to Google, I found out that he is a huge name in photography in NY.

He's having an idea of coming to Vietnam to do a pirate shot! Dont go, stay with me!

He came here last time to do a talent survey to see what Vietnam can offer him to do this shot. We met a whole bunch of people and worked a lots out even though I had no connections nor experience in this industry. When I came to pick him up at the airport, the only thing I know is he is the photogarpher and he wants to do a pirate shot! That's it!

About him? He has no more than me. He has only one thing in his mind! He's doing a pirate shot! That's it! So here we come, the photographer sitting on the front chair and talking like hell about what he wants to do, without knowing that his assistant (it's me here) has no idea what to do now as she's never done this before. Anyway, thanks to the technology, I made some phone calls and in the afternoon, we were flooded with meetings and a whole bunch of models.

Oh God!!! I am very short! That is to be honest to admit! And now I'm working with models. They are freaking tall, man! Dont ask me to describe it! I jsut felt my neck so sour after a working day ( for looking up for a long time!)

Anyway, I managed to get things work around the project without any connection but the mobile phone. It's fun working with him though as he really knows how to see if that make-up artist or that stylist or that model is good or not. One more thing I like from him is that he really shows the respect to me. Whenever a meeting was done, he always asked me what my thinkings and feelings were about it and about the model or that person we met in that meeting.

He also always consulted my ideas while we were working together. We went to Cat ba Island to look for boats to play the pirate boat. However, there was no boat which is old and beat-up and fucked up enough to be the pirate boat. So we ended up looking for boat which has that traditional and old looking and put some shit, err.... I meant mud, on it to make it look as dirty as we can. The theme is the pirate of 17th century. ........

Now, talking about personel, we are still looking for actors to play the following characters: Captain, first mate, sailors, witch, beautiful got captured, a monkey and a parrot.

Ofcourse, we are looking for people to play human characters only and we are gonna hire the monkey and the parrot from a circus in town. No worries!

Now, everybody, if you think you have enough evil inside of you, give me a call for a casting then we can work together for this shot.

Ahh, talking about James's first trip to Vietnam for this shot, he met a very bad and funny cultural shock on the last day in Vietnam.

This is the story. We were on the way to a meeting and looking around the streets, we saw a little girl who looks like a student in her school uniform biking to school. Stopped the car, jump off the car, stopped the girl, talked with her about our reason to be here. And told her that we were looking for actors for the shot and asked her if we could take her to a place to have a mini shot with her. ( ofcourse not immediately) She gave me her number and added that"You gotta talk with my parents first!" Sure! No problem! You are under 18, so ofcourse we will have to talk with your parents first.

We left for Cat Ba Island for two days for the location and boats scout and came back for more meetings. In the middle of the day and from the middle of nowhere, James told me in the most spontaneous voice I ever heard: :"I want to shoot that girl!"

Ok, ok!! Let's find her then! I called her. No answer. I called her again! No answer again. I told James that she might be busy and she didnt pick it up. Fine, we have so many other things to do anyway! Back to a whole bunch of meetings, James seemed to be obssesed by that girl. So when we were done with the meetings, he asked me to call her again. So I called again. No answer! Again!

When we were thinking of another choice ( another girl, if we could find one nice looking enough), Linh - the student girl called me in my cell. Just like finding a gold mine, we agreed to come over to her house right away. To talk with her parents!

The mother was cool but she insisted that we gotta talk with the father as well. Got into her house! A nice house actually!!! And the shock came when James asked the parents to sign in the agreement about how and what James is gonna do with her daughter's pictures.


"The only condition for you to take pics of my daughter is that you have to ensure our family that you will not use any of her iamges for political purposes against Vietnam in any context!" her father said, as solidly as the wall of brick!


Oh my God!!!! I soooo wanted to burst into laugh but ofcourse I couldnt!!! Looking at James, the only thing I could find on his face was his mouth opening as wide as it could and not a word said! I know he's experiencing a freaking huge cultural shock. Take it easy, man! It's the first but not the last one in this communist country!


"I myself would never even think of this, either before or now or later!" James's surprise came out finally.


Anyway, after a few minutes, with my "translation skills", they agreed with each other of the shot. That the mother will follow the daughter and be with her when we do the shot to make sure that there would be nothing bad could ever happen to the princess. That James would not ever use any of her pics for political purposes. However, we made one thing clear with the family that we would not be able control how the buyers would use these pics later ( if the pics are interesting enough to get sold!!!)


Fine! The father got what he wanted and so did James. So..... what the hell are you waiting for? Let's do it!!!


Here we come, the rice filed on the way to airport. I managed to hire an old Vespa for the theme of "confabulation". He saw the rice field with some advertisement signs on the way to the hotel from the airport, so the idea of "confabulation" came! That's it! Oh God!!! Sorry my beloved artists but I dont think I would be interested in an artist in a romantic way! Too much up and down with all the suddens!


So, we headed to the airport from the Vespa shop with the girl sitting in the Mercedes with her mom following us.


After figuring out a way to get down to the path next to the rice field from the high way, we found out that the path was not really connected to the rice field, or in other words, there was a small river between the rice field and the path. So! Now what? How to get in?


The wind was pretty strong and the words flied pretty fast. In about 10 minutes, we had about 50 people stopping and starring at us like we are the craziest people in the world that they ever seen in their lives. Fine! The dedication for art needs some emotional support to get the feelings anyway !!!


But, still, how to get the girl and the Vespa into the rice field? Ahh, there we go. Some nice and "strong" looking guys are in the crowd starring at us too. Why dont you use your girlie attraction, Moony????


My soft voice and "dental" smile made them agree to take the vespa into the rice field through a very very narrow path connected to it which was a few hundred metres away from where we were standing.


Now, show time!


Shoot, shoot, shoot James. Oh yeah!!! Yeah!!! Smile, girl! Talk to the phone! Yeah, standing in the middle of the rice field, riding the old Vespa and talking the cell? That's the " confabulation" we been talking about!


Ok, now, let's change some other costumes to make it more interesting! What???? In the middle of the rice field with almost two hundred eyes starring at her and not a fitting room around? Out of your mind? Pervert? Sexual pics photographer?


Right!! Nothing above was true as we got into the truck which was used to take the Vespa here and get changed in there.


When I was almost done helping her with the dress, we heard someone shouting for " the in-charge person" (it's me!!!!) for the shot!


Got out of the truck, found two guys with red faces and alcoholic breathe waiting for me. Great! The care from local authorities!


"Yes! It's me who is in-charge of this shot! How can I help you, sirs?" - the softest voice inside of me said.


A half of second later, I felt a little shower on my face at the same time hearing the thunder from the man standing in front of me ( I'm talking about his saliva splashed into my face like a shower rain!) : "How dare you shoot on the rice field here? Where is your permission paper work? Do you have one? What advertisement company is this? What are you doing this for?"


Ok, ok!!! Five questions at once! A little too many! But I can handle them all! No worries!


The softest voice got job to do again: " Oops!! Soo sorry that we did not go through the local authorities first about this. I know, I know that we should have talked with you about this before doing anything on the rice field. We were totally wrong! Well, actually, we are not doing any thing for any advertisement company as you thought. The truth is this little girl is going to study abroad in the next few months and she is from a very wealthy family. Her parents want to keep some of her pics then they would not be too sad for being far away from her daughter! So please do understand that it's just the love from the parents to the daughter. There's nothing related to any commercial purpose as you thought."


"Well, well, if it's true like that, that's ok. But you stepped on the rice field of a farmer, you would have to pay for the damage!"


"Sure sure! We will work with the owner of the field about the compensation! No worries! Where is the owner, sir?"


Here come the owner of the rice field! A farmer! He ran like hell to us, screaming like his father just felt down the will in the yard in front of his house "Oh my God! My crop! My crop! My rice! You gotta pay! You gotta pay!"


Dont be hurry here people! He's not that poor and the rice field does not decide whether his family will be able to stay alive or not. The only thing here was he wanted to get as much money as he could out of us! A funny and sad fact!


After a screaming, and then a crying and then a shouting, all from him, we came to the agreeement that we gotta pay 200.000 VND ( about 12 bucks) for the damage, not for the whole field as we were standing on not even a quater of the field!


I did not have a chance to breath out after the shit I just handled ( then James could have his mind free to work on the art)!!!Exactly one minute after giving the owner of the rice field the money, he ran like hell (again) to me, sputtered in a mumble voice:


" My wife, my wife.....!!!"


Thinking that he didnt want to get his wife upset about the damage of the rice field and about him getting not much money out of us, I interupted in the middle of the sputter " then I would tell her that I gave you 300.000, not 200.000, right?"


Another shower dropped on my face when he showed his emotion and anger at my answer "Noooooooo! You would tell her that you gave me only 100.000, not 200.000, ok? If you say 300.000, where can I get the rest of 100.000 to give her? But this way, I can have 100.000 for the beer or the wine for few days! Stupid!"


Hahahhahaha!!!! Mmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! Hahahahhahah!!! I cant! Sorry but I just cant hold it anymore! Ok ok ok ! I'm gonna tell your wife whatever you want! Poor guy with the tiger wife!


Well, the laugh was followed by a sad thinking that VNese people are too controling to each other and there's no freedom at all in this country. No wonder why people lie to each other even about such small things.


The trust is like a crystal vase, soo beautiful and soo breakable! And soo expensive to get too! And no one in this world can invent any kind of glue which can help to put the broken pieces of trust together again. The scar will be there.


That's it!


Well, anyway, had a lot of fun working with James. Lots of things learnt, by eyes and by heart! He's gonna be back here late May for the real pirate shot. I will be busy like again! Well, much better than sitting around and doing nothing.


Now, get a sleep and get a mental rest too. Things been sooo crazy and sometimes out of control. Me deserve a deep, long sleep.


Nighty nite!